Last night I did the bike !! after started to go through some of the books. I found Kevin's 20th class reunion brochure, and the photo from the 25th. This brought back a lot of good memories. I also managed to find the infamous Tim Godfrey, and actually called him. I did at least get some answers to my questions. I feel so much better. I now know that Kevin was honest with me about everything that happened. I feel like a weight has been taken off of my chest. I have some questions that will never have answers, but they are trivial. The questions, ad doubts are apparently normal. I spoke with Shelly and she reassured me that I did not fail Kevin. I have to get these demons out and maybe I never will be able to completely come to terms with Kevin's death. This new phase of waking up and sobbing is just the way one wants to start the day. Nothing like guilt and misery to start the day!! At least I have been productive started on the basement last night. I vacuumed and put the twin size bedding away. Small steps but noticeable and this makes me feel better. Well I have to get ready for the day.
Kenny
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