Yesterday was the memorial service for Kevin at Valhalla. Steve Katz was surprbe with his rendetion of "Life and Death and Beer". He captured Kevin perfectly. I was amazed that so many people came. The place was standing room only, and hot. The facility nor I was prepaired for the amount of people there.
The service was just as Kevin wanted it. At the end I read a poem "Stop all the clocks" by W. H. Auden. It is the one from "Four Weddings and a Funeral". I have sarted to getting over the anger and the grief is starting to come. I am not as depressed as I thought I would be. I do have to get my blood sugar down, along with my weight.
This has been a trying time that I realy did not think I would survive. I have and feel much stronger for it. Kevin was able to leave me with one more gift. The knwlage that I can do what ever I have to do in order to cope with painful situations and stress. I have come out of this with a clarity that never existed for me before. I am ready to live my life alone. I know that I am a capable person, with the ability to take care of my own emothinal needs and not depend on someone else for my feeling of being whole.
Kevin is the great love of my life, and I do not want or need another person so incorporated with me. I could never find someone who could know me so well and give me such love and carring. I will go on and be happy again but I know that I can do it alone, if I have to.
Kenny
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