Every since Sunday afternoon I have been is a fairly good mood. I still have the occasional moments were I can hardly breath, but they are fewer and shorter. I probably will have those for a long time to come. I have made a firm decision to rejoin the living. I am even taking steps to do so. I am going out to dinner with Betsy and Brenda tonight at a new place in Lafayette Square. I am having dinner with Doris tomorrow evening, and Friday I am probably going to Joey and Becky's with Teresa and Mom. The Friday trip is still up in the air. Saturday evening is the Halloween party for the hood. Wow that was fly of me. I am feeling more alive than I have for the past couple of years. I am starting to believe that life is not too far ahead of me, I just have to pick up my pace. I still have those feelings of being all alone but I am starting to cope with them instead of just wallowing in self pity, and remorse. I could be in a room of 50 people and still feel alone. Kevin is not there so I am alone. This is just something I have to deal with.
I am also going to sign up for a couple of classes tomorrow. Getting back to school will keep me occupied and establish a goal for me It will also force a routine on me, which I desperately need.
Well I have to get moving life is sweeping me forward in it's never ending flow to the future.
Kenny
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