Keeping Busy!!

I am setting here waiting on a plum er. The shower control valve is leaking!! I have had a good few days. Yesterday I went to visit with Kevin's parents. Kevin had a few things he wanted them to have. I never knew Kevin was in the scouts. He was a Weeblo, and a Cub Scout. The camping was too much for his delicate little self:). After I had dinner with Keith and Doris at Texas Roadhouse. On the way home I managed to enjoy the sunroof and heated seats of the new car. I really thought this would be extremely difficult being the one month anniversary of Kevin's death, but so far so good. The more I think about him the easier it gets. I am remembering so many little things from all of our years together. Going through all of our stuff has triggered some wonderful memories. I can not believe all I had forgotten.
The days are getting somewhat easier. I am getting into a routine, and that is how I thrive. I was positive that staying in town for Kevin's birthday this year was a huge mistake. Now I am not so sure. The right thing for me might just be keeping with traditions! I am not Kevin, changes are not fearful to me, but I do like to keep my routine. The legal stuff is continuing and the financial is getting into place. I will be so glad when I am able to move. The memories in this house are sometimes overwhelming. I try to get things organized and get lost in the past. Usualy it is something minor, like a note or a photo. I worry that I maight never be able to live in the present. That scares me more than trying to go on my own. The past is something that I never let bog me down, now it is almost as if I only exist in my memories. I have a difficult time seeing myself as a middle aged man who is once again single, and unsure of his future. This is OK when you are 25, but I have to start getting things into perspective!