Getting through another day

I had a not so great day yesterday. Mr Russell went into the hospital with some chest pain. As it turns out the doctors think it is because the battery in his pacemaker is a year over due to be replaced. If that is all the fix should be easy. He does appear to be doing better with Kevin's death. He does not appear as frail and done in as he did.
After I got home yesterday afternoon, I had a pretty good evening. Nothing to out of the ordinary. That is until I was in bed. I had almost fell totally asleep when I heard Kevin say my name. It was not as if he was calling out so much as just waking me up. When I did wake up the cats were at the foot of the bed staring at the closet door. In front of the door was a shadow, that is the best way to describe it. I knew it was Kevin immediately. There was no fear, or startling to it, just that Kevin was at the foot of the bed and I knew it. The shadow was moving a little bit and so I started talking to him. The movements were almost responses to what I was saying. I asked a few questions, and then just talked to him for a few minutes. I was so tired I told him good night, and went to sleep. I have not slept so well in almost 2 years! No pills just a really relaxing slumber. I did not really get out of be until after 8 am. The cats were fed at 5 but I drooped right back off. I never do that. The sense of security was palatable. It was as if he was there watching over me. I am not sure how much of this is my over active imagination, but something was definitely different.
I was reminded of how we would talk just before going to sleep most nights. Some of our best talks were done at this time. Most of the time we would hold hands of snuggle while we talked. I felt just the same last night. It was so relaxing, and gave me a sense of security that has been gone for so long now. I truly believe that Kevin is watching out for me, just as he did all the years we were together. I must admit that when things go wrong lately I handle them much calmer that at any other time in my life. Well that is enough of the crazy mind of Kenny. Kevin always did fear me having a pulpit to spew my ramblings, and ideas from. .
Well that is all for now I am feeling a little under the weather. Not up to full steam to day.