I have had a few busy months. School is finished for the semester, Christmas and the holidays are over. I have finally gotten back to me. It was a long time coming but I am as close to Kenny as I will ever be again. the anniversary of Kevin's death was very difficult and I chose to seek some professional counseling. It was very helpful. I have finally come to realise that I should feel no guilt or sense of betrayal when pursuing my life. Kevin is gone and while he will always be a part of my life he is no longer an active part of it. I have had to forgive others for things that I once thought were unforgivable. I realise that they are the ones that carry the burden of unfulfilled promise. I am to let myself be open to the possibilities of meeting someone again and building a life with him. If this happens great if not then I am just as happy alone.
The hardest thing is letting go of anger and fear. Once the fear is gone the anger dissipates. I am looking forward to a trip to San Francisco for New Years, and to the rest of my adventures yet to come.
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