Kevin died 8 months ago today. It does not seem that long, and sometimes it seems like years. We welcomed a new baby to the family on Saturday. Brennen Michael Paul Russell. Brian and Andrea are the parents this makes 15 in the great niece, nephew list! His birth brought back the memory of when Brian told me they were pregnant. It was last August while he was hear to see Kevin just before he died. I was smiling when I thought of it. Kevin was still with it enough to understand when we told him about the baby. I think a little of Kevin went to Brennen, that is a comfort, it could also be a nightmare for Brian and Andrea.
Life continues to move ahead. School is almost over for the semester, and this weekend I am going to Joey's. Finals next week, then a 2 week break until summer session. Time is passing by quickly. I feel like I am almost caught up with the world now. Not completely, but almost. This summer is going to me the challenge, We usually took a few little trips and a week somewhere. I really don't have much desire to go anywhere. I have thought about a lot of places, all of which I went to whit Kevin. I have to start doing new things and going to new places to separate this phase of my life from the past. I have found that starting over is not so easy. The past creeps into the present in such a stealthy way that it is sometimes scary.
The tears and depression are less now but still sneak up on me without much if any notice. I know that life is out there and I will get to it soon. I am just not ready to dive in fully yet, just some toes in the water for now.
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