Kenny gets ready to move

The contract on the condo went through, with almost no negation. That was a relief. I now have to start to get the house packed and ready to move. This means the dreaded attic!!! I am looking forward to painting and changing out some of the fixtures in the place to make it mine. I have even thought about possibly have the carpet out and wood floors put in. Not sure if I want that kind of expense. But it would be nice to do it before I move if the flooring change does happen.
I have had a cold the past few days, and yesterday I was feeling really bad. I had a fever, and when I got home form running an errand was so wiped that I went to bed and ordered a pizza. I just have no energy. I am feeling better today. I am going to just drop off Brianna's BD present and come home. I little disease factories are not what I need right now. I plan on making up a list of things I need to do before I move and start some packing today.
I am a little torn about leaving our home. I have lived here longer that anywhere else in my entire life. Some of the best times of my life have been here. The single worst also happened with the walls of this home. Kevin's death is not the reason I want to leave her. I am going because of the life we had here. I can not look at any part of the house and not think of him doing something to it. He touched every part of this house in the 13 years we lived here. he loved this house. The memories are haunting, yet familiar. I do feel at peace here. I also dread coming through the door every time I leave. It is a reminder that Kevin is not here to share my day with, or hear about his. Once inside I am fine. I just have to move on and can not do it in this home we built together. I have to start building a life for myself apart form the one we had together. Not an easy task but I have no other choice. Now is a time to start thinking about myself and not others for a change. I have to take charge of my life and become responsible for my own future.
Kevin and I kept fairly on course for 15 years. The occasional side trip is to be expected, he always refused to ask for directions. We always managed to get to the right place somehow. I just have to do it alone now. Full time no one to take up the slack and give me a rest.