Yesterday I was able to retrieve Kevin's cremains from Kutis. I put him in the back seat and drove him to Valhalla. I realized this was my chance to let him know how angry I still am at him. He was forced to sit in the floor, no seat belt, I drove in the bumpy lane, and did not use the cruse. To those of you who know my driving this ment constantly adjusting the speed. Kevin hated all of these things. I told him I was doing it as I did. I know he was carsick by the time we arrived. I do feel better. No I am not insane, at least I don't think so. I am starting to loose my anger and that will not be good when it happens, I will become an hysterical crying mess. Although I will only do it alone. One must keep up a veneer of control.
The legal wranglings have begun. I am so grateful that Keith, and Teresa have to deal with this stuff. Kevin always dealt with this sort of thing. I know where all of the information is, just not how to present it. Well that is what we have professionals for. I still miss him every minute of the day. Sometimes a little thing will make me want to tell him what happened and then I am sloped with the reality that he is not in the hospital or extended care facility, but gone from me for ever. This hits like a sharp knife. At times I am not sure what to do but them I check my list and it is all OK.
Kenny
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