Delor Sold

The house on Delor has sold, the closing is August 19. It has been a long time coming. The release from having to maintain it and almost daily visits to check the mail. I spent so many years of my life there. i actually lived there longer than any other place in my life. Strange that one house could encompass so much of my life. Kevin and I lived there for all but the first year we were together. I thought it was a first step to the new house we would have later. I never had any idea that we would stay so long. When we first moved in I expected to die in a few years, as I got better those thoughts left.
Kevin and I could never have predicted that I would be the one to move on after his death. Never was it expected that he would be the one to die in the home we shared. I am saying farewell to the past that envelops me daily. I am who I am today because of the life I led in that home. It was a home not just a house, correct that, it was a home so long as Kevin was alive. Once he died it became a tomb. Shrouding me in the past, clouding my future so that I could not truly see one while still living there. I believe that if I had not moved out when I did I would not be alive today.
The future is mine and mine alone now. I can make of it what I choose. The first anniversary of Kevin's death is quickly approaching I have looked back on the past year and discovered a strength that I never knew I had. I am sure that life will not pass me buy, any longer. I am ready to get going with my own life that does not include the house that holds me to the past. I have a great sense of relief in knowing that it will be someone else to live in and make memories in.
The loss I feel with the sale of the house is the fear that it is my last tie to Kevin and the life we had. That is foolish the memories have nothing to do with the house, or any other physical object that Kevin loved. The memories are within me and those who knew him. These can not be taken or lost, only put away until they are wanted. Someone told me that I am not leaving behind the life Kevin and I shared but simply putting it in it's proper place, the previous chapter that will build upon other chapters of my life. It takes all of these chapters to make one who one is today. They are always there to remind us where we came from so that you will not stray from the path of our lives. I like that thought, it has such truth in it.